This is my week off work to rest up from having pneumonia and complete the medications I was given while in the hospital. I'm pretty much hanging around the house, watching TV, napping, resting, and doing little chores around the house. If I do too much Anne Mary gets mad at me. But things need to get done and she already has plenty to do. Allison, my eldest daughter is house/dog sitting for a friend on Mercer Island. My main chore is to see that the kittens get plenty of attention and love.

I try to watch TV, but there is nothing on. Well there were some interesting soccer matches on the Fox Soccer Channel, but I had trouble concentrating on them. I also notice that sometimes I feel a little bit of mental confusion. Is it the “Chemo-Brain” that I've heard about. Hell, I haven't had that much chemo, have I?

Everyday I go to my radiology treatment and that is going well. There is almost no side effects and it really is a piece of cake. It seems more of an annoyance than anything. There are two hitches that I don't like. Once a week I have “double co-pay” day. One co-pay for the treatment and one co-pay for the meeting with the radiology support team, the radiologist and/or the nurse. On a different day of the week, they take pictures. X rays, used to calculate the following weeks dosages of radiation on. Double co-pay is a financial hit, and picture day, just takes longer to get the machine lined up on my tattoos.

Well, by Friday, I just can't take the routine anymore. I'm bored. I sign on to the network at work and start by reading my email. I typically get 50-70 emails on a typical work day. I've been out about 10 days. Oh, Gawd! That is a lot of email. Thankfully there is only about 200 emails in my in-box that need reading. I see an “important – high priority” email from my boss. There are a bunch of us who haven't completed a series of administrative tutorial courses required by human resources. Most people have six courses to complete. I only have 5 to complete. This seems like something I can handle.

I spend three hours or so and complete three of the courses. I'm pretty tired at the end of the process, so I call it a day. I'm trying to monitor my energy levels. I want to push myself a little, but I don't want to over do it. If I over do it, I'm afraid that I might set my recovery back father than I want. I want to get to work next week.

The weekend is pretty uneventful, more of the same. I'm feeling pretty good. Monday morning rolls around and I head to work at my usual time, 6:00 AM. The drive to work is mostly uneventful, except that two separate times, cars decide they want my lane and try to encroach on my space. Due to my superior driving skills no collisions take place.

It is great to be back at work. To see my co-workers again. To share the friendship and camaraderie. It is pretty much work as usual, except occasionally someone comes by and wants to know my health details. About 1:00 PM, I'm worn out and decide to go home. Anne Mary wants to be there for me so I call before lunch time so she knows if she will drive me to radiology treatments or if I will do it myself. If she drives me to treatments, then we are a car pool so the drive home is much easier.

On Tuesday, I get through the entire day and drive myself to my treatment. I feel very proud of myself. When I get to my radiology appointment everything is backed up. They have a new patient and it is taking a long time, the initial visits always are. It takes such a long time that the Asian lady who has her treatment after me comes in and she is told the same thing. There is a backup. A half hour goes by and we, the Asian lady and me, are still waiting. No time estimate is given. I've read all of the magazines in the waiting area. Suddenly the Asian lady begins swearing in several languages and pacing the floor. She is really upset. She knows she needs her treatment, but she has another appointment. I have no place to go after my treatment, but home, so I offer her my slot. I think she is embarrassed and a little grateful. I tell the reception desk ladies that she can go before me. About ten minutes later, my Asian lady gets to go back for her treatment. I have to wait about another ½ hour. My treatments are much shorter than hers. I say a little prayer for her.

I complete my treatment and head for home. It is about 5:15 PM. This is no time to be commuting in Seattle. It takes me an hour and a half to get home. I'm totally wiped out. Anne Mary has dinner ready for me. I almost need someone to chew it for me, I'm that tired. An hour after dinner I head to bed.

At 5:00 AM the alarm goes off. I know instantly that I won't make it to work. I won't be able to go to work and I don't feel like I will be able to work from home. I finally get out of bed about 06:45 AM and email work that I won't be in today. Most of the day I sat around the house like a zombie, with no energy and no ambition. Existing but not participating. After a nap, in the late morning, I felt better, but with a little headache. I get a ride to my treatment.

Thursday morning arrives and again I make the supreme effort and go to work. Work again is fairly routine, and at lunch time Doug Findley, Burke Harris, my boss, and I decide to go to lunch. I'm feeling a little light headed. I decide that my blood sugar is low and that I need to eat. There is this awesome Mexican restaurant we found in the South Park area near Boeing field and we go there. We had an enormous lunch, at least enormous from my recent recovery perspective. We return to work and I'm feeling great. An hour later, I'm exhausted. Perhaps I ate too much. I head home and request a driver for the radiology appointment.

Friday morning arrives and again I go to work at the office. I take a snack of fruit that I eat around 10:00 AM. That helps immensely. I eat a lighter lunch and at the end of the day, I feel triumphant. I made it through the day. Awesome.

The next morning, Saturday, I'm a zombie again. No energy, no ambition, vegetative-like. I had hoped to go visit my in-laws today. I thought I could make it, but the boss, Anne Mary, vetoed the idea. I don't believe I did anything that day.

Sunday, I'm expecting to rebound slightly. I'm mistaken. I am better than I was the previous day, but I'm no Energizer Bunny. We do, however, make it over to visit the in-laws for a couple of hours. But when I got tired, I spoke up, and we headed for home.

Monday, arrives and I'm expecting to go to work again, but when the alarm goes off, it feels like Saturday again. I sleep in until about 06:00 AM. I finally get up and eat. Ten minutes after eating I felt very very good. So I started to shower and shave and mentally prepare myself for my day. Another ten minutes and I was just too exhausted. I email my boss that I was unable to work and hit the couch.

My mood was gloomy. I didn't understand what was happening to me. I was astonished. What was causing this? The pneumonia? The radiation? Am I lazy? The Change in my medications? What?

I had a hard time staying awake. I tried to stay awake. I'm not sure why. Finally, around ten AM I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up three plus hours later. I felt better. When I nap I usually wake up in a grumpy mood and thick headed. I wasn't grumpy, but I was thick headed. And very concerned. Is this my new life?